Not You or Me; We

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

As we move into National Marriage Week, culminating with World Marriage Day on February 13 (yes, the day before Valentine’s Day!) I’ve been considering the difference between the wedding and the marriage.

I’ve shared previously my view that the wedding ceremony is the end of “the old ways” and the previous life of the couple. It is the beginning of an immense, joyful, scary, complicated, frightening, frustrating, disappointing, and beautiful journey together “as one”.

I doubt any couple standing with each other before God on their wedding day would take those adjectives to heart. Some aspects may kick in sooner than later, when the honeymoon ends and real life begins. We have to figure out our routine, our “duties”, shared as they may be, our tolerance for behaviors, “isms” that were either cute or ignored during dating, and agreeing on a common path to live as one. That is a difficult task out of the gate, and gets complicated when children are born and there’s the danger the foundation that husbands and wives cling to may get lost in the daily hustle and bustle. Oh, yes, and demands of your employer which may or may not gibe with your plans and your schedule.

There is no book I’ve read that has the answers to these daily conundrums. It’s life. It’s routine, it’s doing all you can to keep those important to you as close as you can, and talk, talk, talk, and talk some more.

Your purpose, as St. Paul observes, is to celebrate in good times, and in difficult, even terrible times, when you and your spouse feel totally alone, maybe abandoned, that you are not. You have each other, together for the reasons that brought you into each others’ life.

We stand together. We make our statement of love and devotion. We are together and one, in God’s loving embrace.

Michael Throop